Things You Could Buy Me

My birthday party is tomorrow so this is a list of presents you could give me that would help me with my goals:
1. A ticket to Africa
2. Any season of Law and Order between 9 and 20. (I've already seen 1-8.)
3. A CD with Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire on it."
4. Gas.
8. Toilet Paper
10. A Spa gift certificate
11. A Chia pet
12. White cotton crochet thread size 30
13. Van Halen tickets
23. Movie tickets
25. Oil
27. Laundry soap
28. Vegetables
30. Something delicious

It's correlated with my goals list just in case any of you are bored enough to go see what matches.

Goals 28 and 30

Goal 28: Eat at least 3 meals per week that contain some sort of nutrient preferably of the plant variety.

I ate one of these salads twice so I'm counting it.

You're just going to have to trust me that I ate something delicious (Goal 30) because I forgot to take a picture.

The Official Kick-Off (for soccer people) or Kickoff (for football people)

So when I was 24, I went to visit my friend in Fargo (North Dakota. And there aren't wood chippers.) for Thanksgiving. Her sister-in-law was turning 30 a few days later and I distinctly remember having this conversation:
Us: "30, huh? How do you feel about that?"
Her: "Fine. I have a husband, kids. I have a house. I graduated from college. I did what I planned to do by this time."
At the time, I thought, "That makes sense."

I turned 29 today and, while I really like my current life, the chances that I will be accomplishing any of that in the next year* are extremely remote. Since I will not be living up to the standards my 24 year old self set, I decided I should accomplish something this year. And it should be something fun.

And so this project was born. I set thirty* goals for myself to accomplish this year. Some are actually commendable and some are just silly but I'm committed to all of them. You can read the whole list in my previous blog post which I placed a link to somewhere over there ->. And because I need the motivation of publicly committing to something and/or because I thoroughly enjoy the narcissistic affirmation offered by social media, I'll share my progress with you all on this blog. You should feel so lucky. Also, I'l fulfill Goal 29: Blog regularly. Or semi-regularly. Or write a book* in case you thought this wasn't all about me. Join me if it sounds amusing to you.

*Except graduating from college. Did that.  A couple of times.
*Cause I'm gonna be 30. See? See? It's very clever.
*That's really the official goal. I like not to fail so I gave myself a few options here.

The Official List

Goals That Only Have To Be Done Once

1. Go to Africa.

2. Watch at least part of every episode of the original Law and Order.
3. Memorize "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel.
4. Go on a road trip.
5. Do at least one thing from the Phineas and Ferb theme song.
6. Participate in a craft show.
7. Achieve 30 likes on a Facebook comment of some kind.
8. Responsibly toilet paper a house.
9. Kiss a boy and like it. (This one is courtesy of Marie Rich, Eric Olsen and Brother Johnson)
10. Get a pedicure.
11. Grow a chia pet.
12. Crochet an altar cloth for the Gilbert temple.
13. Go to the Van Halen concert.
14. Redo my kitchen table and paint my chairs.
15. Dye my hair a different color.
16. Go cliff jumping.
17. Have a party celebrating a ridiculous holiday.
18. Do some sort of musical act on Mill Ave with Ami Blamires and Ben Little and see if we get any money.

Goals That Have to Be Done More Than Once To Be Counted
19. Finish typing up my mom and dad's mission journals.
20. Finish at least 3 craft project for which I have had the supplies for more than three years.
21. Figure out my own answer to the question "What's good about men?"
22. Go on some hikes in Arizona.
23. Go to at least 5 midnight premieres, including at least one where I have no desire whatsoever to see the movie being premiered.
24. Plan two weddings.

Goals That Only Count If I Do Them Regularly
25. Learn to change my own oil and do it regularly.
26. Be a 100% visiting teacher.
27. Regularly do and put away my laundry. 
28. Eat at least 3 meals a week that contain some kind of nutrients, preferably those of the plant variety. (Sunday dinner doesn't count.)
29. Blog regularly. Or at least semi regularly. Or write a book.
30. Eat something delicious at least once a week.

Thoughts on the Inauguration

My brother marched with his high school band in the Inaugural parade so I watched the entire thing waiting to see him. Just when his band was entering the screen they stopped broadcasting the live coverage. I saw the flags, I guess. I was actually really annoyed about it. I really wanted to see my brother and that was a whole day wasted. However, it does mean I saw the entire inauguration. So here are two lists:
Things I loved:
Aretha Franklin's Hat
The fact that Barack Obama and the Justice messed up the oath (I always love when someone messes up in a huge moment.)
Michelle Obama's scarf
The sight of two million American flags waving
When Obama said it's not about the government being too big or too small, it's about looking at what works and going with that
Katie Couric calling Fallout Boy, Fallout Box when she was trying to say who would be at the youth ball
People walking on the frozen reflecting pool
Al Roker trying to get noticed by Obama
The fact that Michelle Obama wouldn't let go of the President's hand
The clarinet player in the YoYo Ma and Itzak Pearlman quartet
The way the news cameras stayed on every single Native American in the parade

Things I hated:
Katie Couric trying to tell a story about JFK's inauguration and black people in one of the bands... and failing
Hearing that story four times before her failed attempt
Everything Brian Williams said
Ted Kennedy's seizure coverage
Pretty much anyone who was interviewed by anyone just because they happened to be standing next to a reporter
The word historic
Actually, just mainstream press coverage in general. So obnoxious. I'm going back to Comedy Central as soon as I have cable again.

Those were my thoughts. Yeah for hope and change and my brother's band.

I went to Elementary School in the wrong country.

Here in India, we live with Mathew and Jeeva and their fifteen year old son, Edwin and their twelve year old daughter, Priya. (Indians do ages differently though so actually they're 11 and 14 by our reckoning. I'm a little annoyed that I'm spending two months of my year of being twenty five actually being twenty six.) These kids don't go to school. They haven't been to school for a whole week ever since I've been here. They're not bad kids. They're actually very good kids. It's just that there hasn't been a week without a holiday since we got here. I can't always tell what the holidays are for or if they're actually official holidays but here are the ones I could tell:
1. Exams. I think this is a little bit like reading days or how you used to get half days when you went to high school and and had to take finals. Edwin didn't go to school for a week for this one.
2. Ramjan. This was the ending of the Muslim month of fasting, Ramadan. I don't know why everybody gets a day off. Mathew and Jeeva are Mormon so there was no need for them to celebrate. Two days off for this one.
3. Something that roughly translates as Cleaning Puja (or worship). I think this is kind of like spring cleaning. At least everybody took everything out of their closets and repainted stuff and hung flowers everywhere (including on the windshields of their cars. Just what India's driving situation needs- obstructed visibility.) My mom always made us use part of summer break or Christmas break to do this. Again, Mathew and Jeeva are not Hindu. Three days off for this one.
4. It rained. Seriously. Despite the fact that this is a tropical country and thus it rains fairly often, the government of India (where in India? what government? Yeah I have no idea.) declared a federal holiday because it was raining this morning. One day and counting for this one.
All of this leads me to the conclusion that I went to Elementary School in the wrong country. I guess we did get a half hour off to look at the snow both times it snowed when I was growing up, but that's nothing on a whole day off for rain. Plus, America does not have enough religious holidays off. We should be getting Yom Kippur and whatever day it is that Kwanzaa people celebrate. Hey, why stop there? The country should get Pioneer day off and the Shakers probably have holy days, right? And there's always Sneak Zuccini onto your Neigbor's Back Porch Day. That's an official national holiday. I want school off. And we should get Christopher Columbus day back. I know he's the bad guy of history now and everything but Muslims and Hindus have killed more of each other than Chris ever managed with the Native Americans. They still manage to celebrate each other's holidays. I want Christopher Columbus Day and the next day we can dedicate to a Chief that was in American when Columbus landed. That would be fair right?

New Flavors of White

I can't eat Indian food anymore. Unfortunately, Indian is the only kind available in India. Shocker, I know. This limits me to the collection of Saltine crackers, tortillas, and apple sauce my mom sent me. Luckily, she sent me more than enough to feed an army with the stomach flu for at least a week so I'm in no danger of running out but Saltine crackers, tortillas, and apple sauce don't have that much flavor. They get boring fast. Sometimes I find myself dividing my life into the time when I used to eat and the time when I didn't. Like I'll say, "Remember when we went to that movie? Yeah, that was when I used to eat." Or, "No I couldn't have gone to that restaraunt. We didn't find it until after I stopped eating." I also lay awake at night and dream of the food that I could eat if I... could eat. And if I were in America. When I finally fell asleep at four in the morning the other night, I felt a little pathetic that I'd seriously spent about six hours dreaming of food I would like to eat.
Today, I ate toast. For all of you who think that toast is another flavorless food, let me disabuse you of that notion. This toast (called Bread Toast, officially. There really was an option called Toast and and option called Bread Toast. I have no idea with the difference was.) was delicious. I even got to put a little bit of butter and jam on it. Three different flavors in one food item. It was almost more excitement than my poor flavor-deprived tongue could handle. The best thing about the toast though? It was not Saltine crackers, tortillas or apple sauce.

There was also another white girl in the restaraunt (Suddenly, I feel like I have no idea how to spell that word. Is that right?) and we creepily stared at her everytime one of us went to the bathroom. We really wanted to go talk to her but were intimidated by our own weirdness. I'm not sure we're capable of normal social interaction with people who aren't a. Us, b. Indian, c. actually incapable of communicating with us but trying anyway, or d. some combination thereof. We saw her later when we were walking to a movie and stared at her then too. I wonder how long India weirdness lasts. The mission took about six months to decompress from. If it's proportional, I should be ok by Christmas, right?